Welcome to Democracy Meow, your furs and purrs report. I'm Garrett Martinez, here with Brian Richardson and Iron Chef Italian.
In the city of Baghdad, a coalition of over 500,000 felines protested over the lack of safe drinking milk, sweltering heat, and the American occupation of the city's supply of can openers.
In Pasadena, CA, a massive cat-apult causes a terrible catastrophe when it launched cattle at the local animal shelter last Saturday. Four cats were squashed flat, and who cares what happened to the dogs.
Nora Beckley, the local cat lady, has passed away last Sunday. She was 92. The 100-cat senate in the house is voting for their new cat lady. Susan Beckham holds the majority 58-42, but the Cat-servative minority is filibustering to leave for separate houses.
Ol' Fluff 'n Ready, former president Zachary Taylor's pet cat, sought for the repeal of the "don't ask, don't meow" policy, which prevents openly feline members of the military from leaving base late at night for "hunting urges". It's still on the books, along with the policy forbidding marking state and national borders with cat pee to deter illegal immigrants.
No comments:
Post a Comment