The Blog of Views

Someone’s first view of me: there are a ton of amalgamations of a person first sight view of me here are a few. I have been viewed as intimidating do to my height and as a nerd because I carry a calculator everywhere I go and of course as a possible prospective basketball player again due to my height. as strange because I where several layers of clothing and jackets during the middle of summer on a sunny day of 110 degrees Fahrenheit also as suspicious due to this same reason. Yet further still as somewhat of an oddity because they just can't seem to be able to place me correctly in any real category. Then yet again as someone who is a smart person because I am reading a big book when they first see me. As someone who is edgy because I fidget a lot as a gentlemen due to my actions to others. Then yet again as a slob due to seemingly not changing my clothes or caring for my hair as someone that is uncertain for the fact that it seems my action contradict each other and are seemingly indecisive. Then when they actually talk to me they view me differently still such as a person who is a cheeky little bugger or as humorous. As annoying and yet strange or as being born several centuries to late then again as being born several decades to Early and then as nothing more than what they view and term as a normal person with no problems at all. As being too clever for my own good as someone shady as someone trust worthy as someone who knows nothing of what they say. As a persons who has common sense as someone who has no common sense at all. Then as someone wise beyond my years as someone who has the wisdom of a five year old as a poet as an idiot as a genius as a teller of tall tales. As someone who only sees black and white and then again as someone who sees no black or white but only grey. As someone who needs to be cleverer and yet still many more if you were to ask me what and how I view myself I would say this. I am who I am and who I am is me and only me nothing more nothing less and that a better question would be what do you think and feel I show you. The real me or a fake mask and then ask yourself who is better and if you believe me to be showing my true self then how you would go about describing it and explaining it to yourself and someone else. If indeed a fake mask then why do you believe this so what would I have hidden why hide it from view what is your views on this. Though the view of one’s self is always there it is very hard to find not only for others but also one’s self tons of people go there whole lives trying to find who they are and then someone asks. Even if one has found themselves how do they go about describing it how do they explain it to others it is like trying to explain how some one knows when they are in love and how that love feels. Yet they do somehow know that its love but at the same time are in explicitly drawn to the question of am I truly in love am I sure this feeling is love. Yet at the same time know the truth without knowing the truth like trying to explain that you know something is there yet there is never anything there and yet there it is. Is it static is it chemistry is it biology is it your gut feeling or just your gut is it all in your head or is there truly something there that no one else knows. How do you go about explaining this how do you describe this how do you answer and yet only add to the question and question only to find you know the answer. Yet cannot say why how or when you knew or how you can then tell it to someone else so that they understand and are able to do the same. That is what trying to describe who you are to someone who is not you and occasionally that is what it is like to try describing who you are to yourself. I have always show my full and true self to all people and yet do to each person being different they saw and viewed something different they are all right yet wrong a piece of the puzzle yet the whole dang puzzle of who and what I am and yet not even close to who and what I am so you tell me. How would you go about describing one’s self so that they understand and comprehend and when you can do this then you can ask someone Else who they are and say that if they say I am who I am and who I am is me is just a short cut to divert the question away from the truth a cop out if you will till then think about that question yourself